My first new year resolution

is to try to write something everyday. Did you hear that, Momstir? EVERY SINGLE DAY! Coz I need to write in my profession to survive, and I've been having a huge writer's block for a while now. Actually, I have been reading a lot and writing too. Just that the writing happens in my mind and stays there. No one ever reads it except Z, the he, and my mom, who can pretty often read my mind.

So I shall write so that I internalise less and externalise more. Coz that's how I've always been till lately, till I have let things take me over. I've also become lazy, I admit. That is if you can have a lazy mother of a fifteen month old who is a working woman, who, along with the husband single-handedly take care of the baby with no help (yup! no daycare), cook, clean a huge house (which is a pain when you have to clean but a pleasure when its clean, when the view from the dining room allows you to see crisp clean clusters of trees and a lake, the sunlight streaming in beautifully from the shining glassy walls) and pretty much do everything else on our own (Yes, we deserve it. Afterall, we live in the US of A), who cleans the mess around the high chair three times a day with every possible thing to keep it clean enough for the next meal, takes in little rest during the weekend so that more time, attention and love can be spent on baby during the week than on work and so on. (Jeez, is that really me?) But if truth be told, I am getting very lazy about writing except when I have to write professionally. But if I can stick to my resolution, I can possibly even increse my professional output.

So what are we going to write about? Once again, following the substitution model, to substitute it for another activity. Which would be to strangle the woman we left our baby for a few hours last week as our part-time baby care provider. If she would read this, she would be best advised to pack her bags and scoot coz she isn't safe anymore. My pickle was shown television when she was very strictly asked not to, he fell from a stool and had a bad bruise on his cheek which still shows, was constantly yelled at by her three year old for wanting to play with the toys with no intervention by the mother and for making my baby cry for hours without ever telling me honestly how he was doing when i asked her. For making the apple of my eye unhappy. And for lying just to make some quick money. That says it all.

How low can one stoop to make some money? How can you watch a poor baby cry when all you do is think of your money? And how can you set such a poor example for your own child, who, by virtue of her bad behavior and bullish ways, is a representation of who you really are.

My pickle is a very happy, active, gurgly, intelligent boy. he is my darling and I will make sure I get his tears' worth. I am just so mad at this dumb woman that there might just be some blood on my hands today.

And if anyone is reading this, you may ask how I know what happened behind the scenes. So go ahead, ask.